Hearing the words “empty nest” many would say yahoo while others would say that put me into a depression. The lady in our story this week felt that it would be a pleasant position to be in. She had three children and the thought of not waking up to children in the morning sounds quite attractive.
Here idea of an empty nest would be not wearing stained spit-up clothes, being able to finish sentences when speaking to her husband, and carrying her purse without any baby related items.
The beauty of sitting down to enjoy a dinner without spilled mike, the house being quite, no sticky fingers all on the walls, and the thought of sleeping throughout the whole night sounded blissful. When shopping she could fill the cart with food rather then kids.
After thinking about the thought of an “empty nest” it became rather more of a disappointment. The empty nest no longer sounded attractive. As the children become older many of the issues had resolved themselves. The children became more independent and less dependent on mom. There was no more spit-up, and less crying to be fed in the middle of the night. No longer did she attend to the baths or getting the children dress or having to tie shoes many times throughout the day.
Now the children are grown and have moved out. When she walks through the hallway in there home she tries not to look into the empty rooms that are now clean and orderly. These rooms once where full of clothes everywhere, school books, papers, and cans of hair spray.
When she finally crept out of the depression she began to notice her husband. He was looking almost the same when she fell madly in love with him. However, he is now looking a bit worn but in a good way. She noticed the few gray hairs by his temple, understanding completely where they came from. The creases on his face where not from worrying but from smiling many years.
Sitting there and gazing at her husband, she realized her nest was not empty after all. There was still one special person in that home. The home is quite now and gives us time to find each other again. It is time to rekindle the sparks that once originally ignited when they met.
Life Lesson #5 ~ Discover where you reside in the story of your life
Through out our life thus far we have lived many lives already – not talking about reincarnation. We are talking about the many chapters in our life that we have lived – childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, marriage, motherhood, and for some, divorce or death of a spouse. During these chapters you have experience both pain and joy. Most importantly, you have developed inclinations, patterns, and preferences. Now is the time to become a detective and investigate your own life.
Each experiences has left clues to those values you have built your life on, like the things you love, the dreams you’ve fulfilled, and moments of satisfaction. The past will remind you of the many challenges you have endured, strengths accumulated, and wisdom extracted from all the experiences. There is a connection from your past and where you are today in your life. “As I look back over my life, I appreciate where I’ve been and how far I’ve come.” This is such a true statement for me.
Basic tool: Your Journal
Journaling is a valuable tool. This is where you can begin writing all about you; get to know yourself more intimately, become more confidante, and give you more introspective and self-reflect.
Keep your journal private, you do not have to share this with anyone. Your journal is all about you where you can explore your thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears, and dreams – anything that you want to express. Journaling allows you to express everything with no censoring and no judging.
Call your journal book the “Life Review”. This exercise will help recognize who you truly are and the path that led you to where you are today. Life is a moving motion – it is better understood when recognizing what you have already lived through and how far you have come. You life choices will reveal the person you are today.
When you begin writing about your life put it into decades. Pull out old photos – this will show you many different periods in your life. Create a quite and relaxing place for you to reflect back on your past. Put on some music, make a cup of coffee/tea, grab your pictures, and begin writing in your journal. Break it up as follows: middle school, high school, the decade between eighteen and twenty-eight, from twenty-eight to thirty-eight, and so on. This will take weeks, months; spend fifteen minutes or more a day working on your life review. Here are some questions to ask when working on your journal.
What three people influenced me most during this period of my life?
What one event had a major impact on my life?
How does that event affect my life today?
What challenges did I overcome?
What successes did I accomplish?
What gave me the greatest sense of satisfaction or pride?
Were there any compromises I made? What impact do they have on my current life? Is there anything I sacrificed that I’d now like to reclaim?
What did I like to do?
Who were my friends?
While working on your journal, you not only will gain insights of yourself but you will become more comfortable in your own skin. You will begin to have a greater appreciation of everything that you have been through, your major accomplishments, and the major decisions/roads you have taken. Throughout the exercise you will have a renewed appreciation of your worth. No matter what changes you choose to make, know that your life already is a success. Press in ladies and enjoy this new journey you are about to embark on.
For me, journaling has become a way of life.
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