Good morning ladies. I so enjoyed this week’s story. Setting healthy boundaries has become a way of life for me. I have learned to set healthy boundaries for myself, our home, and my children and weed out the negativity in our life. I am willing to help out but I am not willing to allow my helping out to control my life either. I have a new found freedom to do what I want and when I want.
Having a friend is a blessing. However, in some friendships there is a downside to them if you allow that friend to run you into the ground. This week’s story shows a downside to friendship. Both friends have the same amount of kids in the same age group. One friend volunteers all the time at her children’s school. You will find her in the nurse’s office applying ice packs, next straightening collars for school pictures, or putting together the school directory and stenciling the lunch room. The other friend work’s from home, allowing her the flexibility to get her work done on her own timing.
Everything started out innocently (doesn’t it normally start out innocent). Mom A (who lived in the town for a long time) called Mom B (new friend who just moved into town) to chat. As the conversation went on mom A asked mom B to help out with the book fair or baseball registration. Mom A would proceed with telling mom B how lucky she was to work from home – what a great benefit this is for your children. This seemed to be a great advantage to mom A. Of course over time mom A always took on more then she should have and she counted on mom B to pickup the slack.
As time went on, mom B’s being at home became more of a disadvantage to her and the kids. Her free time was filled helping out mom A. Mom B dreaded hearing her voice on the phone.
Looking back over the year’s mom B realized that she always said yes to helping out who ever asked. Her favorite word was “if you can’t find anyone else, then I will do it.” They never did find anyone else and she was helping out again.
There was no one else to balance for the character trait mom B had. Her mom knew when to say “NO I cannot help out this time.” Her mom did raise four daughters, taught grade school for more then 20yrs, at one point and time managed to be a Brownie Leader, Sunday school teacher, and a room mom. Everything was done on her terms.
Her mother used a polite way to saying NO, “That won’t work out for me.” Her mom would repeat herself again if the individual kept persisting for her help. All sisters would laugh at their mom when she would say, “not at this time,” now being older they are all understanding why their mom said that.
You do not have to give an explanation as to why you cannot help out. You owe them nothing. Just say NO
Turning 40, mom B gained a backbone. (she gained a voice)
Mom A called asking mom B if she would help out with the pizza sale. Mom B was swamped with work and other home projects. The key phrase came out smoothly, “sorry, it just won’t work out for me.” Amazingly, mom A totally understood and found someone else to help her out. The pizza sale went well without mom B’s help.
All along mom B realized that she did have a choice to make. Say yes or say No. Nobody can take advantage of you unless you allow them too.
Life Lesson #3 – Set Limits
Creating a life you love you have to create healthy limits. Before setting limits with people you have to understand your boundaries for yourself. You need to know what you need, how you feel, and what is and isn’t acceptable to you. Yes, this is a tall order to fill since we women have been conditioned to be selfless. Being selfless allows others to come in and walk all over you if you do not have boundaries. (There is nothing wrong with setting healthy boundaries for you)
Learn to set your own limits. First, you need to understand your feelings of anger, frustration, and resentment. “Anger often signals that you aren’t getting your needs met, or that you’re overextended. Your feelings of frustration and resentment, which are anger’s first cousins, let you know that you’ve compromised or sacrificed too much of yourself.” These feelings will often define who you are and what your life becomes. You need to find a balance in your life that benefits you and then others. When you get angry and you pay attention to your anger – this can motivate you to make clear and healthy boundaries. “If you’re going to live a high – quality life, you have to awaken a healthy self-protectiveness and find a balance between the needs of others and your own.”
Things you will run into wile making healthy boundaries are those few friends who do not like change. For them there is nothing wrong with the way things are now. They have you just the way they want you. For most people they resist change. Don’t let them control your new boundaries. Hopefully, your friends and family will realize that you are taking care of yourself and begin to accept your new boundaries.
Remember when you set your boundaries they can be adjusted at anytime. You will realize that you have reduced the amount of stress in your life and have more time to do the things you enjoy.
Ask yourself these three questions next time someone asks for you to do something –
1) What can I reasonably and joyfully do?
2) What am I willing to do?
3) What do I want to do?
I hope you all have enjoyed this new found freedom for your life. Happy healthy setting boundaries to you all
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Communing with Nature - Week 8
Almost every morning before I start my day, I make my way to this little park. Very seldom do I see anyone else there. It seems that everyone else is too busy running here and there to stop to admire God’s beautiful creation. (For me, I start my mornings off with God first doing my bible study and listening to worship music. Then on my way to where ever I may be going I soak in my surroundings, such as the beautiful mountains, sunrises and sunsets - knowing that God created this for us to enjoy)
It was quiet at the little pond that morning. The water was still. The leaves on the trees were not shivering like usual. The silence was broken by the ringing of my cellular phone. The noise startled me. I jumped and grabbed the telephone wondering who would be calling me that early.
“Hi, Mama,” my son, Chad, said. “What are you doing?” “I’m sitting at a little pond across town,” I answered. “You’re doing what?” he inquired.
“I’m spending some quiet time at this perfect little place,” I explained. “I come here almost every morning. It helps me get my day started on the right track.”
“You’re sitting at a pond communing with nature, while I’m stuck in Atlanta traffic,” Chad laughed. “It must be nice.”
“It is very nice,” I admitted. “You should try it some time.” Chad and I talked until the traffic resumed on his end. We offered our loving farewells and hung up.
My mind took me to a place where I had lived several years earlier. I was one of those people living every minute of each day in a rat race. I didn’t take the time to commune with nature, spend quiet time with God, or take the time to get in touch with my feelings. I thought I was happy driving in the fast lane of life. (Life is too short to be living in the fast lane)
When I think back I realize that I had been afraid of being alone. I could put on a good show before everyone else, but if I got quiet I was forced to be honest with myself. I wasn’t doing the things that I knew deep in my heart I was supposed to be doing. God had called me to minister to others through writing and public speaking, but I had ignored His call. I justified my actions by telling myself that I had to make a living. I was exactly like everybody else in the world – struggling to make ends meet, while not considering the real reason for my existence. (Oh how I know this too well. I now know that God has a plan for me and I am so ready to walk it out)
I was afraid to slow down. If I miss a day at work, I will get too far behind, I reasoned. Therefore, I worked even when I was sick. (God does not intend for us to work ourselves to illness nor through it. We are to take care of our bodies) I pushed myself to the limit so many times. I wondered who I was trying to impress. Was it my boss or coworkers? (The only person that we need to worry about is our father and not others. Of course we are to give our all to work but not drive ourselves to illness because then we are useless to our employer) I decided that it was probably me that I was trying to impress. I had to feel worthy. I wanted to feel like a dedicated and hard-working employee. But in the meantime, I denied myself the privilege of really living my life to its fullest.
I took a few more minutes to pray. A few birds landed in the tree beside me. I smiled as I listened to the songs they were singing. A squirrel scampered by, but not without stopping to gaze at me. I glanced at my watch and knew that my quiet time was over. It was time to start my day.
I stood before a group of ladies at a speaking engagement. “Today is the first day of the rest of your lives,” I announced. “Where will you go from here?” I shared the story about the pond, my son’s remark, and the emotions I felt that morning while communing with nature and God.
I encouraged the ladies to slow down, serve God each and everyday, and to take some time to pray. The meeting concluded about an hour later, and I returned to my car. I felt good. I was no longer afraid to leave my comfort zone for God’s sake. I was thankful that I gave up the fast lane of life. I was excited to be doing the things that God created me to do. (Wow, how powerful is that. If we do not move out of the fast lane, our life can go by us without knowing all that God intended for us to do. Everyday is a gift from God and I want to glorify him living the life that he has intended for me to live. What about you?)
I drove back to the pond before I returned home from my engagement. The wind had picked up. I watched as the ripples in the once still water traveled to the shore. I realized that the words I share at my speaking engagements can be compared to the ripples in the water. By spreading the good news to others, they can find the peace and joy that only God and nature can give.
Nancy B. Gibbs
Life Lesson #2: Reorient Your Life
Stop and consider for a moment what would happen if you took the next available exit on the freeway of your life, pulled onto a quiet country lane, slowed down and reflected. What would happen if you asked yourself, Am I doing too much? Am I doing enough? Am I living the life I want to live? As you ponder these questions you may discover that you want to make some changes. You may find that you need to reassess your priorities based on what you’ve determined is most meaningful in your life. You may decide that you need more balance, more time for yourself. You may realize that you have to take greater charge of where you invest your time and energy.
In the last section, you clarified your priorities. Now it’s time to think about reorienting your life to reflect what’s most important to you now. But remember, your priorities are not written in stone. They need to be adaptable and to change as you do.
If you’re like most people, you probably spend most of your time trying to keep up with your “to do” list before you allow yourself to get to the good stuff. All too often, you put your own needs on the “when I have time” list rather than on your “to do” list. These kinds of choices are taking you away from the life you desire.
Rather then saying, “I don’t have time to exercise or play with my kids or take a piano lesson,” take responsibility for your decisions. Say, “I could do what I want if I tried this a different way,” or “Why is this my top priority?” How you spend your time is your choice. It’s all too easy to blame other people, but when you take full responsibility for your time, you have the power to make changes. You do have time for what’s important.
Basic Tool: Priorities List
Make a list of the five things you most want in your life in order of importance. For example, your priorities might be:
1. Exercising
2. Spending time with your children
3. Getting your finances in shape
4. Your spiritual life
5. Friends
Next to each activity, list the amount of time you currently devote to that item in the course of a typical week. How does your present life match the life you want to be living? Are there any adjustments that need to be made?
Now that you know what’s important to you, use this information as a guide when making choices. Before you agree to something, ask yourself, is this in alignment with my priorities? Will this activity of commitment enhance my life or detract from creating the life I want?
Life Lessons for Women ~ 7 Essential Ingredients for a Balance Life
By: Stephanie Marston, M.F.T
Have a wonderful and bless week my friends
It was quiet at the little pond that morning. The water was still. The leaves on the trees were not shivering like usual. The silence was broken by the ringing of my cellular phone. The noise startled me. I jumped and grabbed the telephone wondering who would be calling me that early.
“Hi, Mama,” my son, Chad, said. “What are you doing?” “I’m sitting at a little pond across town,” I answered. “You’re doing what?” he inquired.
“I’m spending some quiet time at this perfect little place,” I explained. “I come here almost every morning. It helps me get my day started on the right track.”
“You’re sitting at a pond communing with nature, while I’m stuck in Atlanta traffic,” Chad laughed. “It must be nice.”
“It is very nice,” I admitted. “You should try it some time.” Chad and I talked until the traffic resumed on his end. We offered our loving farewells and hung up.
My mind took me to a place where I had lived several years earlier. I was one of those people living every minute of each day in a rat race. I didn’t take the time to commune with nature, spend quiet time with God, or take the time to get in touch with my feelings. I thought I was happy driving in the fast lane of life. (Life is too short to be living in the fast lane)
When I think back I realize that I had been afraid of being alone. I could put on a good show before everyone else, but if I got quiet I was forced to be honest with myself. I wasn’t doing the things that I knew deep in my heart I was supposed to be doing. God had called me to minister to others through writing and public speaking, but I had ignored His call. I justified my actions by telling myself that I had to make a living. I was exactly like everybody else in the world – struggling to make ends meet, while not considering the real reason for my existence. (Oh how I know this too well. I now know that God has a plan for me and I am so ready to walk it out)
I was afraid to slow down. If I miss a day at work, I will get too far behind, I reasoned. Therefore, I worked even when I was sick. (God does not intend for us to work ourselves to illness nor through it. We are to take care of our bodies) I pushed myself to the limit so many times. I wondered who I was trying to impress. Was it my boss or coworkers? (The only person that we need to worry about is our father and not others. Of course we are to give our all to work but not drive ourselves to illness because then we are useless to our employer) I decided that it was probably me that I was trying to impress. I had to feel worthy. I wanted to feel like a dedicated and hard-working employee. But in the meantime, I denied myself the privilege of really living my life to its fullest.
I took a few more minutes to pray. A few birds landed in the tree beside me. I smiled as I listened to the songs they were singing. A squirrel scampered by, but not without stopping to gaze at me. I glanced at my watch and knew that my quiet time was over. It was time to start my day.
I stood before a group of ladies at a speaking engagement. “Today is the first day of the rest of your lives,” I announced. “Where will you go from here?” I shared the story about the pond, my son’s remark, and the emotions I felt that morning while communing with nature and God.
I encouraged the ladies to slow down, serve God each and everyday, and to take some time to pray. The meeting concluded about an hour later, and I returned to my car. I felt good. I was no longer afraid to leave my comfort zone for God’s sake. I was thankful that I gave up the fast lane of life. I was excited to be doing the things that God created me to do. (Wow, how powerful is that. If we do not move out of the fast lane, our life can go by us without knowing all that God intended for us to do. Everyday is a gift from God and I want to glorify him living the life that he has intended for me to live. What about you?)
I drove back to the pond before I returned home from my engagement. The wind had picked up. I watched as the ripples in the once still water traveled to the shore. I realized that the words I share at my speaking engagements can be compared to the ripples in the water. By spreading the good news to others, they can find the peace and joy that only God and nature can give.
Nancy B. Gibbs
Life Lesson #2: Reorient Your Life
Stop and consider for a moment what would happen if you took the next available exit on the freeway of your life, pulled onto a quiet country lane, slowed down and reflected. What would happen if you asked yourself, Am I doing too much? Am I doing enough? Am I living the life I want to live? As you ponder these questions you may discover that you want to make some changes. You may find that you need to reassess your priorities based on what you’ve determined is most meaningful in your life. You may decide that you need more balance, more time for yourself. You may realize that you have to take greater charge of where you invest your time and energy.
In the last section, you clarified your priorities. Now it’s time to think about reorienting your life to reflect what’s most important to you now. But remember, your priorities are not written in stone. They need to be adaptable and to change as you do.
If you’re like most people, you probably spend most of your time trying to keep up with your “to do” list before you allow yourself to get to the good stuff. All too often, you put your own needs on the “when I have time” list rather than on your “to do” list. These kinds of choices are taking you away from the life you desire.
Rather then saying, “I don’t have time to exercise or play with my kids or take a piano lesson,” take responsibility for your decisions. Say, “I could do what I want if I tried this a different way,” or “Why is this my top priority?” How you spend your time is your choice. It’s all too easy to blame other people, but when you take full responsibility for your time, you have the power to make changes. You do have time for what’s important.
Basic Tool: Priorities List
Make a list of the five things you most want in your life in order of importance. For example, your priorities might be:
1. Exercising
2. Spending time with your children
3. Getting your finances in shape
4. Your spiritual life
5. Friends
Next to each activity, list the amount of time you currently devote to that item in the course of a typical week. How does your present life match the life you want to be living? Are there any adjustments that need to be made?
Now that you know what’s important to you, use this information as a guide when making choices. Before you agree to something, ask yourself, is this in alignment with my priorities? Will this activity of commitment enhance my life or detract from creating the life I want?
Life Lessons for Women ~ 7 Essential Ingredients for a Balance Life
By: Stephanie Marston, M.F.T
Have a wonderful and bless week my friends
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Taking the Leap - week 7
an euphonious keeps you smart
Essential Ingredient #2 – Take charge of your life
Happy New Years to you all. May this New Year be blessed in everything that you do! “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” (Annie Dillard)
This week’s story is about priorities in your life. On a winter morning the love of ones life from the love of her life, 120-proof vodka passed away. The two had been apart for many years. When cleaning out the apartment an unfinished letter was found in the typewriter. “Don’t be afraid,” it read. “You are a survivor.”
Yes, we all are survivor’s, but is surviving the only thing that we want to do? Who did I use to be? What happened to the person I once was that had dreams and was alive when I would live out my dreams?
Our story continues on to a visit to the career counselor several times. The tests that were taken showed the individual scored highest in writing and creative arts. However, the individual was winning many awards at her civil service job and was up for another raise. At the age of forty it would be crazy to leave that job to pursue something she loved to do. The counselor encouraged the individual to write after work hours, find more ways to express yourself in your writing.
Still going to the government job he/she had day after day, while finding other outlets to enjoy her hobby. She finally joined the church choir, which everyone was pleased to have her onboard. She loved going to church choir. The alto next to her one day said, you have such a free spirit. In addition to joining the church choir she began selling pieces of her hand-thrown pottery. In addition, she began writing feature articles for local publications. One friend stated, “I wish I had the courage to send in what I had written.”
Being free spirit, talent, and having courage – what a fraud she felt like. Only if she really had courage she would say to herself. If she really had courage she would quit the job she hated and devote herself to full-time writing. However, fear came over her wonder what if that and what if this.
Christmas was here and she was not in the holiday spirit. She hid in bed cursing her many talents – feeling stuck. She new that her job was interfering with her real work in life – writing.
That night she was cursing her talents her bedside phone rang. It was a friend from the church choir telling her that the alto next to her had just committed suicide. While attending the memorial service she had remembered what the alto had said to her – “You’re so free….outrageous…..courageous.”
At that moment she knew that if she did not follow her own calling that she may follow the same path as the alto – suicide. Things that kept coming to her mind where – know thyself, be true to yourself, have the courage, do or die.
Finally, she put in her notice and started cleaning out her office. As she was cleaning at the 10 years of service she became overwhelmed with many of what ifs.
Working for yourself means many hours of work. Writing alone does not pay the bills. However, she never looked back nor regretted leaving her job. Waking in the mornings she is excited about her work, whether it’s writing one of her columns, meeting article deadlines, teaching college writing, or coaching other writers. She took the leap of faith and now is enjoying life to the fullest.
Life Lesson #1 – Evaluate Your Priorities
So many women live their lives by these small little quotes – I have to keep up, I am what I do, I have to push myself, I have to prove my worth, I have to keep going. Why not just live life as it was created for you to live it.
There are many women who just want to get through the day. However, we all live our lives on autopilot. One rarely stops enough to consider how you spend your time or energy. Not knowing if your priorities match your reality and your values, you will continually be out of synch with yourself.
“Living a priority-centered life means balancing responsibility to others with responsibility to oneself, obligations with enjoyment, work with play, activity with rest. It means finding a natural rhythm to your day-to-day life that will support an atmosphere of fulfillment. It means getting your priorities straight.”
Take a look at what a typical day or typical week you have. Think about how you spend your time. How much time do you really devote to your family? How about your health and fitness? Religion and spiritual pratice? Work? Personal interest and hobbies? Social Time? Finances? Friendship? How you spend your time will reveal your priorities.
You may just find out that your priorities are different from what you actually do in your daily life. Now is the time to get honest with yourself and see what your life is telling you. Is your life balanced? Are you overextended in one area? Is there an area what you’re neglecting? What percentage of your time is devoted to caring for others? What percentage is spent caring for yourself and doing things your love? Are you in synch with your core values? Are there any adjustments you need to make so that your life more closely reflects these values?
As women we do everything for everyone else. It is time that we start balancing the wishes and expectations of other people with our own needs and desires. Hold your priorities sacred. It is time to invest your time and energy in what it is you value most.
Food for thought –
If you had only a year to live, what would you do differently? It’s time to take action. Whatever you’ve been waiting to do – just do it!
God bless you all! Have a wonderful week
Essential Ingredient #2 – Take charge of your life
Happy New Years to you all. May this New Year be blessed in everything that you do! “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” (Annie Dillard)
This week’s story is about priorities in your life. On a winter morning the love of ones life from the love of her life, 120-proof vodka passed away. The two had been apart for many years. When cleaning out the apartment an unfinished letter was found in the typewriter. “Don’t be afraid,” it read. “You are a survivor.”
Yes, we all are survivor’s, but is surviving the only thing that we want to do? Who did I use to be? What happened to the person I once was that had dreams and was alive when I would live out my dreams?
Our story continues on to a visit to the career counselor several times. The tests that were taken showed the individual scored highest in writing and creative arts. However, the individual was winning many awards at her civil service job and was up for another raise. At the age of forty it would be crazy to leave that job to pursue something she loved to do. The counselor encouraged the individual to write after work hours, find more ways to express yourself in your writing.
Still going to the government job he/she had day after day, while finding other outlets to enjoy her hobby. She finally joined the church choir, which everyone was pleased to have her onboard. She loved going to church choir. The alto next to her one day said, you have such a free spirit. In addition to joining the church choir she began selling pieces of her hand-thrown pottery. In addition, she began writing feature articles for local publications. One friend stated, “I wish I had the courage to send in what I had written.”
Being free spirit, talent, and having courage – what a fraud she felt like. Only if she really had courage she would say to herself. If she really had courage she would quit the job she hated and devote herself to full-time writing. However, fear came over her wonder what if that and what if this.
Christmas was here and she was not in the holiday spirit. She hid in bed cursing her many talents – feeling stuck. She new that her job was interfering with her real work in life – writing.
That night she was cursing her talents her bedside phone rang. It was a friend from the church choir telling her that the alto next to her had just committed suicide. While attending the memorial service she had remembered what the alto had said to her – “You’re so free….outrageous…..courageous.”
At that moment she knew that if she did not follow her own calling that she may follow the same path as the alto – suicide. Things that kept coming to her mind where – know thyself, be true to yourself, have the courage, do or die.
Finally, she put in her notice and started cleaning out her office. As she was cleaning at the 10 years of service she became overwhelmed with many of what ifs.
Working for yourself means many hours of work. Writing alone does not pay the bills. However, she never looked back nor regretted leaving her job. Waking in the mornings she is excited about her work, whether it’s writing one of her columns, meeting article deadlines, teaching college writing, or coaching other writers. She took the leap of faith and now is enjoying life to the fullest.
Life Lesson #1 – Evaluate Your Priorities
So many women live their lives by these small little quotes – I have to keep up, I am what I do, I have to push myself, I have to prove my worth, I have to keep going. Why not just live life as it was created for you to live it.
There are many women who just want to get through the day. However, we all live our lives on autopilot. One rarely stops enough to consider how you spend your time or energy. Not knowing if your priorities match your reality and your values, you will continually be out of synch with yourself.
“Living a priority-centered life means balancing responsibility to others with responsibility to oneself, obligations with enjoyment, work with play, activity with rest. It means finding a natural rhythm to your day-to-day life that will support an atmosphere of fulfillment. It means getting your priorities straight.”
Take a look at what a typical day or typical week you have. Think about how you spend your time. How much time do you really devote to your family? How about your health and fitness? Religion and spiritual pratice? Work? Personal interest and hobbies? Social Time? Finances? Friendship? How you spend your time will reveal your priorities.
You may just find out that your priorities are different from what you actually do in your daily life. Now is the time to get honest with yourself and see what your life is telling you. Is your life balanced? Are you overextended in one area? Is there an area what you’re neglecting? What percentage of your time is devoted to caring for others? What percentage is spent caring for yourself and doing things your love? Are you in synch with your core values? Are there any adjustments you need to make so that your life more closely reflects these values?
As women we do everything for everyone else. It is time that we start balancing the wishes and expectations of other people with our own needs and desires. Hold your priorities sacred. It is time to invest your time and energy in what it is you value most.
Food for thought –
If you had only a year to live, what would you do differently? It’s time to take action. Whatever you’ve been waiting to do – just do it!
God bless you all! Have a wonderful week
Monday, December 20, 2010
The PTA Mom - Week 6
There are two things that elementary bring: lice and the PTA. For the mom in this week’s story both lice and the PTA landed in her lap. The lice eventually will go away after much shampooing/sprays and the unending loads of laundry. However, the PTA does not ever go away.
The mom in our story has a huge problem when it comes to the word NO. Instead of saying my plate is full she says yes to everything. Sure I will do that and yes I can help out with that. Before you know it she has taken on much more then she should have. Jumping up every time someone asks for help our mom says yes pick me, I can do it.
The first year was a cakewalk. She was the room mom (this is a huge job in of it’s self, I did this once a couple of years ago. Being a single mom working a fulltime job, I decided to take on that challenge because I could now). Our mom in the story was not sure who she impressed but she continued to take on more – not only was she the room mom but she also became the head mom, on the Carnival Committee, the Committees Committee and the Youth Protection Chairman, the latter one being the most recent role.
This mom’s role is hard work, thankless work. Relaxing is not even a word in her vocabulary. However, volunteer is the first word in her dictionary. Speaking to other moms to help out with activities is like taking a pry bar to open a door. Can you believe the other’s mom excuses for not helping out is because they want to keep there weekends free. How do you keep your weekends free when you have three children?
When it comes to going to the bathroom or taking a shower, one would think that this is a time for a few seconds of peace. Not in this moms home (nor is it in most moms homes). There are two kids and the dog at the mom’s feet while going potty. When it comes to the shower, the toddler opens up the door every few seconds or the husband is coming in to ask where this or that. Can anyone do without mom for a few minutes – seems not!
Moms like the one in our story are not the only crazy mom’s. There are other mothers that walk among the hallways with glassy-eyed look, frantically patting their clothing to ensure their clothes are on the right-side out. Forget about making sure everything matches - the teachers are used to unmatched outfits as the kids are now dressing themselves and do not know how to match correctly.
Looking like June Cleaver is not the way of life these days. Who has time for makeup and pearls? Moms have time to brush there hair before heading out the door. The teachers do not care if the parents are naked when they show up. There are happy to see the parents who care enough to just show up and help out.
Yes, the PTA can get under your skin. It is a thankless position. Aggravating and annoying, yes and yes. What matters most is when your child comes up and gives you a big hug and says thank you – you are the best mom ever, it makes being the PTA mom and all the volunteer jobs worth that one moment.
Life Lesson #6:
Recognize what’s important
When living a high quality life you must know what you value – what’s most meaningful in your life? When you are completing all the millions of task you can you will lose perspective on life. You begin to lose your ability to discern what’s most important from what’s not because everything seems to be urgent – equally critical. However, that is not true.
“No matter how frantic life gets, the truly successful people are able to rise above the pandemonium and maintain their perspective.” The reason they can do this is because they know how to determine what is most important. Their values become their compass – no matter what they stay on course regardless of what may come there way. These types of people maintain a vision of what truly matters, what their life is all about and what they want their life to be.
What are your qualities and attributes you consider essential to living your best life? Remember, these are values that define who you are. Take for example: your list could include the following attributes as: Integrity, honesty, playfulness, understanding, trustworthiness, responsibility, truth, creativity, and adventurousness. There are many more possibilities for you. Make a list that resembles your core values – not what you think they should be but what you feel is truly important to you.
Once you see what your core values are you can adjust your life as such and begin to invest time and energy into those things you hold sacred. Ask yourself, what is it that I value? What’s most important to me? What do I really want? Not only will this help you understand more of yourself on a deeper level, but ultimately this will help you refocus your life around what’s truly meaningful to you.
Now that you are gaining a better picture of what you consider to be important, ask yourself: what do I need to change in order to have my values expressed more visibly in my everyday life? Is there anything I need to add to my life? Are there activities or commitments I need to eliminate?
Once you begin to focus on who you truly are, what you believe in, and what you love – you will begin to create a life in which your outer life matches your more deeply held values and beliefs. Having the feeling “all of piece” is an essential ingredient in living the life you are meant to live.
Now comes the finishing touch ~
Remember when we wrote our self a love letter? It is time to write our self another letter. In order to love and support others, we have to understand the true meaning behind this by first loving and valuing ourselves.
Make an agreement with yourself – allow all your feelings to come alive in your letter. Do not censor anything and most of all, do not judge who you are. This is not a letter to be little who you are but rather to up lift yourself. Here is a list to help guide you while writing your letter.
What’s in my best interest?
What do I need to do to take better care of myself?
Are there any insights that can help me grow as a person or make my life more balanced?
What do I love, cherish and admire about myself?
What are my top 10 core values and principles?
What are five qualities I’d like to be remembered for?
What have I found myself saying to the world over and over throughout my life?
Once finished with your letter, be sure to save the letter for those times when life itself seems so overwhelming and you need a pick me up – read your letter.
Food for thought – Ask yourself everyday, is this what I want to be doing? If the answer is “no,” you can, day-by-day, begin to alter your course. Changing course is a process – it happens slowly, incrementally. But if you are persistent you will end up where you want to be.
Have a wonderful and bless week ladies. Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!!!!
The mom in our story has a huge problem when it comes to the word NO. Instead of saying my plate is full she says yes to everything. Sure I will do that and yes I can help out with that. Before you know it she has taken on much more then she should have. Jumping up every time someone asks for help our mom says yes pick me, I can do it.
The first year was a cakewalk. She was the room mom (this is a huge job in of it’s self, I did this once a couple of years ago. Being a single mom working a fulltime job, I decided to take on that challenge because I could now). Our mom in the story was not sure who she impressed but she continued to take on more – not only was she the room mom but she also became the head mom, on the Carnival Committee, the Committees Committee and the Youth Protection Chairman, the latter one being the most recent role.
This mom’s role is hard work, thankless work. Relaxing is not even a word in her vocabulary. However, volunteer is the first word in her dictionary. Speaking to other moms to help out with activities is like taking a pry bar to open a door. Can you believe the other’s mom excuses for not helping out is because they want to keep there weekends free. How do you keep your weekends free when you have three children?
When it comes to going to the bathroom or taking a shower, one would think that this is a time for a few seconds of peace. Not in this moms home (nor is it in most moms homes). There are two kids and the dog at the mom’s feet while going potty. When it comes to the shower, the toddler opens up the door every few seconds or the husband is coming in to ask where this or that. Can anyone do without mom for a few minutes – seems not!
Moms like the one in our story are not the only crazy mom’s. There are other mothers that walk among the hallways with glassy-eyed look, frantically patting their clothing to ensure their clothes are on the right-side out. Forget about making sure everything matches - the teachers are used to unmatched outfits as the kids are now dressing themselves and do not know how to match correctly.
Looking like June Cleaver is not the way of life these days. Who has time for makeup and pearls? Moms have time to brush there hair before heading out the door. The teachers do not care if the parents are naked when they show up. There are happy to see the parents who care enough to just show up and help out.
Yes, the PTA can get under your skin. It is a thankless position. Aggravating and annoying, yes and yes. What matters most is when your child comes up and gives you a big hug and says thank you – you are the best mom ever, it makes being the PTA mom and all the volunteer jobs worth that one moment.
Life Lesson #6:
Recognize what’s important
When living a high quality life you must know what you value – what’s most meaningful in your life? When you are completing all the millions of task you can you will lose perspective on life. You begin to lose your ability to discern what’s most important from what’s not because everything seems to be urgent – equally critical. However, that is not true.
“No matter how frantic life gets, the truly successful people are able to rise above the pandemonium and maintain their perspective.” The reason they can do this is because they know how to determine what is most important. Their values become their compass – no matter what they stay on course regardless of what may come there way. These types of people maintain a vision of what truly matters, what their life is all about and what they want their life to be.
What are your qualities and attributes you consider essential to living your best life? Remember, these are values that define who you are. Take for example: your list could include the following attributes as: Integrity, honesty, playfulness, understanding, trustworthiness, responsibility, truth, creativity, and adventurousness. There are many more possibilities for you. Make a list that resembles your core values – not what you think they should be but what you feel is truly important to you.
Once you see what your core values are you can adjust your life as such and begin to invest time and energy into those things you hold sacred. Ask yourself, what is it that I value? What’s most important to me? What do I really want? Not only will this help you understand more of yourself on a deeper level, but ultimately this will help you refocus your life around what’s truly meaningful to you.
Now that you are gaining a better picture of what you consider to be important, ask yourself: what do I need to change in order to have my values expressed more visibly in my everyday life? Is there anything I need to add to my life? Are there activities or commitments I need to eliminate?
Once you begin to focus on who you truly are, what you believe in, and what you love – you will begin to create a life in which your outer life matches your more deeply held values and beliefs. Having the feeling “all of piece” is an essential ingredient in living the life you are meant to live.
Now comes the finishing touch ~
Remember when we wrote our self a love letter? It is time to write our self another letter. In order to love and support others, we have to understand the true meaning behind this by first loving and valuing ourselves.
Make an agreement with yourself – allow all your feelings to come alive in your letter. Do not censor anything and most of all, do not judge who you are. This is not a letter to be little who you are but rather to up lift yourself. Here is a list to help guide you while writing your letter.
What’s in my best interest?
What do I need to do to take better care of myself?
Are there any insights that can help me grow as a person or make my life more balanced?
What do I love, cherish and admire about myself?
What are my top 10 core values and principles?
What are five qualities I’d like to be remembered for?
What have I found myself saying to the world over and over throughout my life?
Once finished with your letter, be sure to save the letter for those times when life itself seems so overwhelming and you need a pick me up – read your letter.
Food for thought – Ask yourself everyday, is this what I want to be doing? If the answer is “no,” you can, day-by-day, begin to alter your course. Changing course is a process – it happens slowly, incrementally. But if you are persistent you will end up where you want to be.
Have a wonderful and bless week ladies. Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!!!!
Monday, December 13, 2010
View from an empty nest ~ Week 5
Hearing the words “empty nest” many would say yahoo while others would say that put me into a depression. The lady in our story this week felt that it would be a pleasant position to be in. She had three children and the thought of not waking up to children in the morning sounds quite attractive.
Here idea of an empty nest would be not wearing stained spit-up clothes, being able to finish sentences when speaking to her husband, and carrying her purse without any baby related items.
The beauty of sitting down to enjoy a dinner without spilled mike, the house being quite, no sticky fingers all on the walls, and the thought of sleeping throughout the whole night sounded blissful. When shopping she could fill the cart with food rather then kids.
After thinking about the thought of an “empty nest” it became rather more of a disappointment. The empty nest no longer sounded attractive. As the children become older many of the issues had resolved themselves. The children became more independent and less dependent on mom. There was no more spit-up, and less crying to be fed in the middle of the night. No longer did she attend to the baths or getting the children dress or having to tie shoes many times throughout the day.
Now the children are grown and have moved out. When she walks through the hallway in there home she tries not to look into the empty rooms that are now clean and orderly. These rooms once where full of clothes everywhere, school books, papers, and cans of hair spray.
When she finally crept out of the depression she began to notice her husband. He was looking almost the same when she fell madly in love with him. However, he is now looking a bit worn but in a good way. She noticed the few gray hairs by his temple, understanding completely where they came from. The creases on his face where not from worrying but from smiling many years.
Sitting there and gazing at her husband, she realized her nest was not empty after all. There was still one special person in that home. The home is quite now and gives us time to find each other again. It is time to rekindle the sparks that once originally ignited when they met.
Life Lesson #5 ~ Discover where you reside in the story of your life
Through out our life thus far we have lived many lives already – not talking about reincarnation. We are talking about the many chapters in our life that we have lived – childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, marriage, motherhood, and for some, divorce or death of a spouse. During these chapters you have experience both pain and joy. Most importantly, you have developed inclinations, patterns, and preferences. Now is the time to become a detective and investigate your own life.
Each experiences has left clues to those values you have built your life on, like the things you love, the dreams you’ve fulfilled, and moments of satisfaction. The past will remind you of the many challenges you have endured, strengths accumulated, and wisdom extracted from all the experiences. There is a connection from your past and where you are today in your life. “As I look back over my life, I appreciate where I’ve been and how far I’ve come.” This is such a true statement for me.
Basic tool: Your Journal
Journaling is a valuable tool. This is where you can begin writing all about you; get to know yourself more intimately, become more confidante, and give you more introspective and self-reflect.
Keep your journal private, you do not have to share this with anyone. Your journal is all about you where you can explore your thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears, and dreams – anything that you want to express. Journaling allows you to express everything with no censoring and no judging.
Call your journal book the “Life Review”. This exercise will help recognize who you truly are and the path that led you to where you are today. Life is a moving motion – it is better understood when recognizing what you have already lived through and how far you have come. You life choices will reveal the person you are today.
When you begin writing about your life put it into decades. Pull out old photos – this will show you many different periods in your life. Create a quite and relaxing place for you to reflect back on your past. Put on some music, make a cup of coffee/tea, grab your pictures, and begin writing in your journal. Break it up as follows: middle school, high school, the decade between eighteen and twenty-eight, from twenty-eight to thirty-eight, and so on. This will take weeks, months; spend fifteen minutes or more a day working on your life review. Here are some questions to ask when working on your journal.
What three people influenced me most during this period of my life?
What one event had a major impact on my life?
How does that event affect my life today?
What challenges did I overcome?
What successes did I accomplish?
What gave me the greatest sense of satisfaction or pride?
Were there any compromises I made? What impact do they have on my current life? Is there anything I sacrificed that I’d now like to reclaim?
What did I like to do?
Who were my friends?
While working on your journal, you not only will gain insights of yourself but you will become more comfortable in your own skin. You will begin to have a greater appreciation of everything that you have been through, your major accomplishments, and the major decisions/roads you have taken. Throughout the exercise you will have a renewed appreciation of your worth. No matter what changes you choose to make, know that your life already is a success. Press in ladies and enjoy this new journey you are about to embark on.
For me, journaling has become a way of life.
Here idea of an empty nest would be not wearing stained spit-up clothes, being able to finish sentences when speaking to her husband, and carrying her purse without any baby related items.
The beauty of sitting down to enjoy a dinner without spilled mike, the house being quite, no sticky fingers all on the walls, and the thought of sleeping throughout the whole night sounded blissful. When shopping she could fill the cart with food rather then kids.
After thinking about the thought of an “empty nest” it became rather more of a disappointment. The empty nest no longer sounded attractive. As the children become older many of the issues had resolved themselves. The children became more independent and less dependent on mom. There was no more spit-up, and less crying to be fed in the middle of the night. No longer did she attend to the baths or getting the children dress or having to tie shoes many times throughout the day.
Now the children are grown and have moved out. When she walks through the hallway in there home she tries not to look into the empty rooms that are now clean and orderly. These rooms once where full of clothes everywhere, school books, papers, and cans of hair spray.
When she finally crept out of the depression she began to notice her husband. He was looking almost the same when she fell madly in love with him. However, he is now looking a bit worn but in a good way. She noticed the few gray hairs by his temple, understanding completely where they came from. The creases on his face where not from worrying but from smiling many years.
Sitting there and gazing at her husband, she realized her nest was not empty after all. There was still one special person in that home. The home is quite now and gives us time to find each other again. It is time to rekindle the sparks that once originally ignited when they met.
Life Lesson #5 ~ Discover where you reside in the story of your life
Through out our life thus far we have lived many lives already – not talking about reincarnation. We are talking about the many chapters in our life that we have lived – childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, marriage, motherhood, and for some, divorce or death of a spouse. During these chapters you have experience both pain and joy. Most importantly, you have developed inclinations, patterns, and preferences. Now is the time to become a detective and investigate your own life.
Each experiences has left clues to those values you have built your life on, like the things you love, the dreams you’ve fulfilled, and moments of satisfaction. The past will remind you of the many challenges you have endured, strengths accumulated, and wisdom extracted from all the experiences. There is a connection from your past and where you are today in your life. “As I look back over my life, I appreciate where I’ve been and how far I’ve come.” This is such a true statement for me.
Basic tool: Your Journal
Journaling is a valuable tool. This is where you can begin writing all about you; get to know yourself more intimately, become more confidante, and give you more introspective and self-reflect.
Keep your journal private, you do not have to share this with anyone. Your journal is all about you where you can explore your thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears, and dreams – anything that you want to express. Journaling allows you to express everything with no censoring and no judging.
Call your journal book the “Life Review”. This exercise will help recognize who you truly are and the path that led you to where you are today. Life is a moving motion – it is better understood when recognizing what you have already lived through and how far you have come. You life choices will reveal the person you are today.
When you begin writing about your life put it into decades. Pull out old photos – this will show you many different periods in your life. Create a quite and relaxing place for you to reflect back on your past. Put on some music, make a cup of coffee/tea, grab your pictures, and begin writing in your journal. Break it up as follows: middle school, high school, the decade between eighteen and twenty-eight, from twenty-eight to thirty-eight, and so on. This will take weeks, months; spend fifteen minutes or more a day working on your life review. Here are some questions to ask when working on your journal.
What three people influenced me most during this period of my life?
What one event had a major impact on my life?
How does that event affect my life today?
What challenges did I overcome?
What successes did I accomplish?
What gave me the greatest sense of satisfaction or pride?
Were there any compromises I made? What impact do they have on my current life? Is there anything I sacrificed that I’d now like to reclaim?
What did I like to do?
Who were my friends?
While working on your journal, you not only will gain insights of yourself but you will become more comfortable in your own skin. You will begin to have a greater appreciation of everything that you have been through, your major accomplishments, and the major decisions/roads you have taken. Throughout the exercise you will have a renewed appreciation of your worth. No matter what changes you choose to make, know that your life already is a success. Press in ladies and enjoy this new journey you are about to embark on.
For me, journaling has become a way of life.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Life Lesson #4 – Who are you?
I am a mother of two precious boys. My job is to provide a roof over their heads, put food in their belly’s, teach them the love of Jesus, direct them down the right path in the hopes that they will remain on that right path (if they choose to veer to the right or the left help them back onto the straight and narrow path), show them love and support. My job will never be done with them. Each day is precious being a mother. Of course there are moments when you want to explode on them but don’t because it does no one any good. Take a time out, breath in, and move on. I love my boys with all my heart and I let them know everyday that I love with.
I am a friend ~ I so love my girl times. Getting together to talk about anything and everything, enjoying each other’s company, speaking into each other’s life, going shopping, having coffee, a glass of wine, and watching a movie. Girlfriends are priceless ~ there is never a dull moment whether it is happy ones or sad ones – there is always something going on.
I am a daughter ~ unfortunately; my mother never took the time to really see who I was and how precious of a daughter she had. My dad was not in the picture during my up bringing and now that I am in his life he still chooses to not be completely involved. The sad thing is that it is there loss. I am a precious daughter full of love and compassion. This is why it is so important for me that my boys know just how much I love them and how important family really is. I do have a dad that thinks the world of me and he is in my life everyday. Without him being in my life I would not be the women I am today and would not be where I am today. Thank you Jesus!
I am an employee ~ I love my job and I am good at what I do. I give a 100% to my duties and then some. I am always willing to lead a helping hand. I work for an amazing company called Scentsy. The owners are amazing and love their employees deeply. God really blessed me with a great job.
The lady is the story we read this past week was not happy with her life. He heart’s desire was elsewhere and her love for life was dying where she was. We all have desires – God gave us those desires.
Psalms 37:4 ~
The desires God placed in your heart were put there for a reason, they reveal the secret of who you really are and the life you are meant to live.
My desire as a little girl was to be a mommy. I wanted my children to know how much they were loved and that I was always going to be there for them. I never had that as a child and I new in my heart that was not right. A child yearns for love and attention. I wanted to have a happy family. Unfortunately I hit some rough patches but I have bounced back and I do have that happy family. Even though things did not work out as I thought they would, things did work out as God knew they would. For the first time in my life I am happier then I have ever been just where I am.
I am a friend ~ I so love my girl times. Getting together to talk about anything and everything, enjoying each other’s company, speaking into each other’s life, going shopping, having coffee, a glass of wine, and watching a movie. Girlfriends are priceless ~ there is never a dull moment whether it is happy ones or sad ones – there is always something going on.
I am a daughter ~ unfortunately; my mother never took the time to really see who I was and how precious of a daughter she had. My dad was not in the picture during my up bringing and now that I am in his life he still chooses to not be completely involved. The sad thing is that it is there loss. I am a precious daughter full of love and compassion. This is why it is so important for me that my boys know just how much I love them and how important family really is. I do have a dad that thinks the world of me and he is in my life everyday. Without him being in my life I would not be the women I am today and would not be where I am today. Thank you Jesus!
I am an employee ~ I love my job and I am good at what I do. I give a 100% to my duties and then some. I am always willing to lead a helping hand. I work for an amazing company called Scentsy. The owners are amazing and love their employees deeply. God really blessed me with a great job.
The lady is the story we read this past week was not happy with her life. He heart’s desire was elsewhere and her love for life was dying where she was. We all have desires – God gave us those desires.
Psalms 37:4 ~
The desires God placed in your heart were put there for a reason, they reveal the secret of who you really are and the life you are meant to live.
My desire as a little girl was to be a mommy. I wanted my children to know how much they were loved and that I was always going to be there for them. I never had that as a child and I new in my heart that was not right. A child yearns for love and attention. I wanted to have a happy family. Unfortunately I hit some rough patches but I have bounced back and I do have that happy family. Even though things did not work out as I thought they would, things did work out as God knew they would. For the first time in my life I am happier then I have ever been just where I am.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Follow Your Heart ~ Week 4's story
Wow, this week’s story is a different view on how I see life as it is now. The woman in this week’s story is a single mother of four children. She is an ocean person who longs to live most of her life away by the sea. Being a single mother many uncertainties fill you up. I know this to be true as I am a single mother. Wondering how are we going to make it this month. How will all the bills get paid and food on the table and what about those unexpected situations that come up.
This single mother had raised her four children all alone, through poverty and struggles, but with lots of laughter, kite-flying and hiking in the hills above their town. She worked a job that she hated, waiting for the older three to finish high school, feeling like she was marking time while the years passed by her. She could not see the beauty that everyone else saw in her town. Her heart was at the ocean and her soul was dying in the town that she lived in.
I believe that we need to breath in our surroundings and take in the amazing view that God created. No matter where you are there has to be amazing views, trees, waters, hills, mountains, flowers, structures and so on. Life is too short to live empty, with no compassion, wanting more only to find out what you have now is enough and where you are now is amazing in of it self. For this single mother in our story her heart was elsewhere and she was dying where she was now.
Her 42 birthday was here and her sister gave her a trip to see the gray whale migration outside of Tofino on the wild, West Coast – this was her longing, a dream come true. It was a great experience for her. The ocean was serene, there were whales everywhere, and she was where she belonged. The day could have lasted forever but it did come to an end. She returned to her home town, to a job she hated, and to a persistent depression as the winter was closing in.
She decided to write a letter to the lady who had taken her to see the whales. In her letter she stressed how lucky this lady was to have such an amazing job living her dream. She also stressed to the lady that this has been her longing to live there and do what she did. Aw an open door appeared. When she went to see the whales the lady who took her told her that she would love to find someone who loved her job as much as she did so that she could have relief to enjoy more leisure time. So in this letter the single mother stressed that she just might be that person to relieve this lady.
Time went by and there was no reply back from the whale lady and so the winter went on. The single mothers eyes were deaden, the walls were closing in. She felt trapped in her life for the need to earn a living and support her kids, and loneliness – waiting for Mr. Right to come along but he never did. A break through came where she worked – she won recognition from an aware employee. She was flattered. Her employer encouraged her to take the supervisory training and apply for the supervisor position. She passed the training and won the supervisory position. For the first time in her life there were no struggles to pay the bills and put food on the table. She was making enough money to make life simple and stress free. However, she was deadened because she was not doing what she loved.
Being a single mother we strive for security, which is hard work. An opportunity of a life time came in the form of a letter from Tofino, offering her the choice that she has wanted for so long. Here she just earned the supervisory role and was making good money. Now the opportunity of a life time was here and would only be part-time paying her $6 an hour. Does she keep the security with her new supervisory position or does she go for her dream?
Well, she took the other job – went for her dream. Even though she had to take more then one part-time job to make ends meet she was doing what she longed for – for so long. For 10 years she has walked blissfully through some of the most spectacularly beautiful landscapes on the planet. She has fullness in her now, which does not compare to any amount of money she would have made at the other job. She also learned that there is no security other then what we carry within side of us. We need to stop and listen to the inner voice inside of us. There is inner wisdom inside of us and if we listen to that our lives can become enriched immensely.
Life Lesson #4 ~ Be True to Yourself
We all were created for a reason and we should be the person that we were intended to be. Why do women strive to be someone other than who they really are? We as women need to stop living through others who want us to be who they think we are. Each one of us is made unique – therefore, we must be who we are. It’s time to stop trying to be who your parents expected you to become or what your spouse, partner, or children want you to be.
During our early years we sought our identity and fulfillment in the outer world, and during the first half of your life that’s appropriate. As we mature we realize that there is so much more to life. It is time to start looking into the inner part of you.
Take a moment to sit in silence and reconnect with your essential self. Begin to listen to that still, small voice of your heart and above all, heed the wisdom of the philosopher, Diogenes: “Know thyself.”
Our work for this week is to sit and bring forth what is real and true about you. Who are you?
Have a great week!
This single mother had raised her four children all alone, through poverty and struggles, but with lots of laughter, kite-flying and hiking in the hills above their town. She worked a job that she hated, waiting for the older three to finish high school, feeling like she was marking time while the years passed by her. She could not see the beauty that everyone else saw in her town. Her heart was at the ocean and her soul was dying in the town that she lived in.
I believe that we need to breath in our surroundings and take in the amazing view that God created. No matter where you are there has to be amazing views, trees, waters, hills, mountains, flowers, structures and so on. Life is too short to live empty, with no compassion, wanting more only to find out what you have now is enough and where you are now is amazing in of it self. For this single mother in our story her heart was elsewhere and she was dying where she was now.
Her 42 birthday was here and her sister gave her a trip to see the gray whale migration outside of Tofino on the wild, West Coast – this was her longing, a dream come true. It was a great experience for her. The ocean was serene, there were whales everywhere, and she was where she belonged. The day could have lasted forever but it did come to an end. She returned to her home town, to a job she hated, and to a persistent depression as the winter was closing in.
She decided to write a letter to the lady who had taken her to see the whales. In her letter she stressed how lucky this lady was to have such an amazing job living her dream. She also stressed to the lady that this has been her longing to live there and do what she did. Aw an open door appeared. When she went to see the whales the lady who took her told her that she would love to find someone who loved her job as much as she did so that she could have relief to enjoy more leisure time. So in this letter the single mother stressed that she just might be that person to relieve this lady.
Time went by and there was no reply back from the whale lady and so the winter went on. The single mothers eyes were deaden, the walls were closing in. She felt trapped in her life for the need to earn a living and support her kids, and loneliness – waiting for Mr. Right to come along but he never did. A break through came where she worked – she won recognition from an aware employee. She was flattered. Her employer encouraged her to take the supervisory training and apply for the supervisor position. She passed the training and won the supervisory position. For the first time in her life there were no struggles to pay the bills and put food on the table. She was making enough money to make life simple and stress free. However, she was deadened because she was not doing what she loved.
Being a single mother we strive for security, which is hard work. An opportunity of a life time came in the form of a letter from Tofino, offering her the choice that she has wanted for so long. Here she just earned the supervisory role and was making good money. Now the opportunity of a life time was here and would only be part-time paying her $6 an hour. Does she keep the security with her new supervisory position or does she go for her dream?
Well, she took the other job – went for her dream. Even though she had to take more then one part-time job to make ends meet she was doing what she longed for – for so long. For 10 years she has walked blissfully through some of the most spectacularly beautiful landscapes on the planet. She has fullness in her now, which does not compare to any amount of money she would have made at the other job. She also learned that there is no security other then what we carry within side of us. We need to stop and listen to the inner voice inside of us. There is inner wisdom inside of us and if we listen to that our lives can become enriched immensely.
Life Lesson #4 ~ Be True to Yourself
We all were created for a reason and we should be the person that we were intended to be. Why do women strive to be someone other than who they really are? We as women need to stop living through others who want us to be who they think we are. Each one of us is made unique – therefore, we must be who we are. It’s time to stop trying to be who your parents expected you to become or what your spouse, partner, or children want you to be.
During our early years we sought our identity and fulfillment in the outer world, and during the first half of your life that’s appropriate. As we mature we realize that there is so much more to life. It is time to start looking into the inner part of you.
Take a moment to sit in silence and reconnect with your essential self. Begin to listen to that still, small voice of your heart and above all, heed the wisdom of the philosopher, Diogenes: “Know thyself.”
Our work for this week is to sit and bring forth what is real and true about you. Who are you?
Have a great week!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)